Coaching: Steps to Helping the Emotion of Being Overwhelmed

While building a leadreship residency for your local church you will undoubtedly find your self in all sorts of coaching conversations. At some point (typically after day 100) your newest and youngest leader may begin to spiral towards being overwhelmed with their new responsibilities. Being overwhelmed with a pile of work can be daunting for anyone, but especially for those who are just beginning their leadership journey.

“I can’t do it. I can’t keep up. Will this ever slow down? Maybe ministry isn’t for me,” began a coaching conversation I recently had. I’ve had a version of this conversation many times as a coach. And I admit I’ve had it many times in my head with myself, too!

While the emotion of being overwhelmed is real, the steps through it may be simpler than we realize.

The big problem with being overwhelmed when you are young is that it tends to lead to spiraling downward. “I can’t keep up” (leads to) “I can’t do this” (leads to) “maybe ministry isn’t for me.”

See how one thing leads to the next?

While these steps may not be new to you they could be new to that young team member of yours:

1. Have them make a detailed list and once again prioritize them again Covey’s Four Quadrants.

2. Now place a time value to each item that has to get done.

3. Have them add them up.

I’ve gone through this exercise more than once and some times it honestly isn’t that much work. Sometimes less than a few hours of work could make us feel overwhelmed.

I know that if I have anxious thoughts like this, then how much more are the youngest ones among us going to spiral when under new stresses and pressures they’ve never felt before in their new role or new job?

Are we taking time to show them what we believe could be an elementary step in work? Are we modeling it? Are we assuming they’ve got this when in essence they do not?

A boss did this for me when I was 25 and I have been grateful ever since.

Have you had a coaching conversation with a young leader at this level in the past week? Month? Year? This is critical as we continue to try to answer the question “who’s the next you?” The next you might need something that you think is pretty simple and it could make all the different in the world.