Five Self Care Tips You Can Do Now
Willow and Stef
Long time buddy, Stef Rowe, is back as a guest blogger. We’ve interviewed her before, had her on webinars, and I personally turn to her often. She’s a preacher, elder, mom, mental health professional, and deeply loves the church. You can find her HERE. And by the way…everything she says below you must be encouraging the youngest leaders on your team in the same way! Read on… — Dave Miller
Five Self Care Tips You Can Do Now
by Stef Rowe
Our culture is talking a lot about self-care these days. For whatever it’s worth— I’m a fan. As a licensed counselor who primarily works with pastors and other counselors, I find myself talking about self-care nearly every day. This means that people spend their time and money on my services, while I try and convince them to be intentional about maintaining their own wellness. It’s preventative medicine to burnout. It’s being kind to oneself. It’s recognizing limits, setting boundaries, asking for help, and confronting unhelpful thoughts like, “The Devil doesn’t take a day off, so I can’t either.” Come to think of it, it is tricky.
If you are interested in self-care but don’t know where to start— try these five things. Still, need more help? Shoot me an email— I’d love to talk!
Take your vacation days.
Weirdly, I talk to a lot of people who have lots of unused vacation time in their “bank.” What in the actual world? Take that time! First of all, you’ve earned it. Second of all, the world— and your organization— will go on without you— at least long enough for a “staycation” or a long weekend. If the idea of being away from the office overwhelms you, plan ahead and start small with a day or two here and there. Then, set a future goal of taking a longer stretch at least one a year. You’ll be amazed at how the world keeps turning and how your body and brain actually relax when you are away from work. Save some for an emergency or a bucket list trip (that you need to actually get on the calendar), but for goodness sakes turn off your phone and take some days off. Put in your request today.
Join a Golf League.
Or a bowling league.
Or a sand volleyball league.
Take a photography class or buy a bike. Get “into coffee.”
You do you— but you need to get a life outside of the office. If the only thing you are talking about over dinner with your friends, on your patio at night, and on the phone with your brother… is work— you’ve got a problem. I usually tell people to pick whatever hobby they want— but to make sure it’s “net positive” in the end. Playing poker with your buddies every night, all night, spending money you don’t have over several glasses of Bourbon because a counselor on the internet told you to? Not at all what I’m getting at. But walking with a neighbor a few nights a week, biking over lunch, a sports league, a Bible study or book club, a niche Reddit community, a Master Class. Read that community college flyer that comes in the mail. Tour local restaurants. Opportunities are everywhere. I’d love to see you have an answer when someone asks, “What are your hobbies?”
Turn off email for 4 straight hours every evening (or longer).
You’re smart, figure it out. A few things people have shared with me that worked: Deleted the email app off their phone, added an “out of office” in the evenings, put their phone in a drawer, got a home phone for actual emergencies to ring through, utilized settings within their phone. I’m telling you, your brain needs a break and people can wait. Your family and friends need your EYES UP. I’m in the urgent people business, and if I’ve figured this out— you can, too.
Get your annual physical.
Go ahead and call right now.
I often tell people that self care is doing something our future self will thank us for. It’s not all bubble baths and massages (but sign me up)—oftentimes it is also doing the workout, making the appointment, eating the damn vegetables. These are things that we feel better about AFTER we do them, and that is an important part of self-care. And your physical can’t wait, even though I know you hate it. We all hate it. But engaging in self care sometimes means we do things we hate, with a good attitude, because we know that’s what’s wise. Your future self will thank you.
Go to bed.
For crying out loud.
You need 7-8 hours of sleep every night. I’ve heard it all and I’ll wave my hand at you on this one. Your whole body, brain, family and coworkers will thank you for it. If you can’t get seven to eight hours of sleep right now, then you need to take a good inventory of what you can get off your plate at night— like, er, maybe Netflix, Call of Duty, TicTok, and even your book. (Sorry about that last one.) Little kids still aren’t sleeping? Time to ask for help. I’m not sure 5AM is actually the best time for your workout if you fall asleep after 10:00PM, either. And if your phone is in your face all night (I know nothing about this- hahahaha), plug it in across the room and get an alarm clock. (I love our new Hatch, but that old one from your college dorm will work just fine. It’s retro now— how stylish of you.)
As a leader, your personal health is somewhat like the oxygen mask on an airplane. You must take care of you before taking care of others. As we head in to a new season, we can all take intentional steps like these five to do so.